Divorce is never an easy proposition. No one enters a marriage wanting it to fail. Why get married with the intent of breaking up later. The problems with divorce can truly be devastating. There’s the realistic agony of dividing property and all the ensuing anger and acrimony that occurs, There’s the damage to the kids, friends and loved ones. There’s the hurt, pain, and frustration that occurs in most every divorce. There’s a reason that you’re getting divorced in the first place, but by the time you go through the actual formality of it, the anger and bitterness seem to increase and manifest itself in mentally and emotionally negative ways, ways that can scar your psyche for years to come.
There are a couple of things you can do to help you overcome these negative feelings.
- Nobody can predict the future.
Some marriages work and others do not. It is really important to understand that the divorce is not the end of the world and that there are literally hundreds of people going through the same thing as you are. Search the internet for divorce groups in your area where you can connect with people going through a divorce also. Connecting with people who fully understand what you are going through will help you to work through your feelings a little better. And making new friends is always positive!
- Understand that you are not a bad person because you are getting a divorce.
If you and your spouse can no longer get along, there is no reason to live together in a situation that makes you unhappy. Try to see the divorce as a new beginning to a new and exciting life!
- Look after yourself physically as well as mentally.
Make sure you maintain your regular exercise routines and stick to a healthy diet. Keep your energy up and stay positive, especially if there are children involved. Your kids don’t need to see you falling apart, it will cause them unnecessary stress and anxiety.
- Do not give up or throw in the towel.
You need to be able to fight and stand up for yourself especially if things start to get messy. Getting what you want in a divorce is not always possible, but you do have to keep up a good fight to try and get it. Make a list of everything you want out of the divorce and also keep a list of items you can use as bargaining chips.
- Surround yourself with as many positive people as possible.
Keeping your friends and family around you is very important. You need to keep having fun and laughing when you can.
Most people are aware of marriage counseling, but how many people are aware of the many benefits of divorce counseling? Yes, divorce counseling exists and it can be very helpful to someone coping with the pain associated with divorce. Often times during and after a bitter divorce, people need more help and guidance than they did when the marriage was troubled. Not all marriages can be saved, but that doesn’t mean that just because you’ve ended a troubled marriage that everything is going to be fine. Many people suffer more dealing with the divorce and after the divorce, than they do when coping with the troubled marriage itself.
Divorces can cause issues that stay with you forever if you don’t get help dealing with the pain and suffering. Divorce counseling can help you regain confidence and overcome the pain and agony and stress so that you can move in with your life in a healthy, complete way. T6he stigma associated with divorce can cause serious issues to develop such as panic attacks, alcoholism, and drug abuse. The rest of your life can fall apart even well after the marriage has ended because of the issues caused by the divorce process itself. You can chase away friends and family, lose your job and never fully recover from the relationship that could not be.
That is why it’s so extremely important to get help as soon as you can when you realize that a divorce is inevitable. Even, years later, when you realize you still have lingering issues, divorce counseling can help you to get your life back on track, but it’s best to address the problem as early as possible. Divorce counseling can help give back the life you once had, and can even help you to build a life better than you can imagine, as deep-seated scars can be dug up, addressed and fixed, and the quality of your life can become much better than you’d think during such dark times.
If your world has been torn asunder by a divorce, don’t delay. Get the help you need so you can heal as a person and so that you can become a better human being. That way, when another relationship comes along, it’s more likely to be successful, as you will have grown and learned from your negative experience, and you won’t have to go through it all yet again. It’s always better to address problems and fix them than to bury them and hide from them. Divorce is no different than any other crisis, it must be fixed and dealt with before you can truly move on.
Sources:
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/healthy-divorce.aspx
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2015/03/26/how-to-stay-healthy-during-a-divorce